Getting a grip

It has been more than a while. I didn't expect this break to take so long, but I sort of let it slip by, and the more time I was away the harder it was to come back.  Strange… I would have thought that after that "resting period" it would've been easier to get back, but no!

I'm rusty. I thought I was done and had nothing more to share, plus a lot of past demons kept resurfacing and I needed to be strong… to make them go away. But they just won't go away, they are there and perhaps they will always be, as a reminder of sorts…

Sometimes I think I am so fragile -handle with care- at other times I surprise myself with the strength that I have -unbreakable- but it is never the two at the same time -what a shame- … anyway this is starting to look like a never ending story… I'll just say that my hair fell out in chunks which led me to a doctor that said; "you have a thyroid problem take this medicine probably for the rest of your life." which made me look for an alternative route, but during this search I've been visiting the dark abyss of what used to be my old depressive self. Oh, boy!! I thought I will never have to see that self again, not look at her scared eyes in the mirror and ask her, NOW WHAT???

I will find a way out, this time with out any medicine (crossing fingers), I'm writing on my journal again, and I'm back at my sofa stitching, doing what I love, little by little, hoping, praying…

This is one of my recent works. Very personal... not at all what I usually show here, but what the heck! I'm all about opening up and confronting my "demons."

I hope you are well where ever you are, and thank you for still being here - if you are-
Giova

My Baby turns 12!

I'm becoming a sort of a "sissy" mother. Lately, I'm crying for every little thing. Mostly because I feel time is running away so fast, and my little chubby cheeked baby is no longer there, or maybe he is somewhere in there, and I'm not able to see the bigger picture, in any case this is a short story of when it all started!

12 years ago I became a mother for the first time. Two very important things happened that day. The first one; I found myself with the most beautiful 10 pound baby boy you'll ever see, and the second one;   on his way out, my big baby snapped something inside of me. To be more precise, my pubic bone got dislocated. Since that day, my life has never been the same, for both of those reasons.

I would go through it all again in the same way, knowing all the physical pain that was to come just to be able to look into his little wondering eyes, and hold his warm chubby hands.
I guess life has to balance itself out. It gives you all the happiness you never knew existed and then it throws in there some bittersweetness/struggle/pain/sadness to the mixture so that we never forget how fragile life is, and how very lucky we are.
I feel amazed, proud and blessed to have been able to enjoy the wonderful boy he was and the young man he is now becoming.
HAPPY 12TH LUCA!! I love you with every single beat of my heart, and I'm so grateful you picked me to be your mom!

Have a great weekend!
Giova.